Influencing Your Boss
Posted July 2008
Everyone wants to be viewed positively by their boss. People are incredibly emotionally reactive in the context of this relationship. As a result, you are much more likely to be hijacked by your emotions and lose your head in this relationship as compared to other business relationships. Getting caught up in the emotion of seeking your boss's approval is a trap. The most successful people do not just seek the approval of superiors. The most successful people actually seek to influence their boss. Influencing your boss means that you have the ability to actually impact the way he or she thinks, feels, and/or acts. There are three rules for the road that will help you not just seek your boss's approval, but actually influence him/her.
Pay attention to what worries your boss.
When I ask people how their relationship with their boss is going, I usually get a laundry list of all of their anxieties and worries about how they are being perceived by the boss. In other words, they tell me what is worrying them. Then, I ask, "What is worrying your boss these days?" That one is often met with a blank look. If you want to influence someone, you must know what they are worried about.
See your boss as a potential ally or partner.
Sit down for this one. Managers at every level find people who are obviously sucking up to them annoying. You need to be really good at it to pull this off. The egalitarian (at least on the surface) cultures and climates demand that you develop skills in relating to authority figures with respect but NOT deference. Treat your boss as a partner and always be looking for ways to demonstrate the "partner perspective" in subtle and overt ways.
Pay attention to how your bass wants to interact.
I got a phone call this week from an exasperated subordinate. She was exasperated because her boss paid absolutely not attention to her emails. The exasperated one was under 30, introverted, and would prefer to get married via text message if it was possible. Her boss is over 50, extroverted, and has utter disdain for most gadgets. Pay attention not only to the channel of communication but what types of messages tend to get through. What types of positioning, framing, or timing seems to work?
